While no one involved with Gigli will appreciate the following statement, the movie has become synonymous with a Hollywood failure. It’s why I probably don’t even have to tell you that Gigli rhymes with really. The movie had many flaws (e.g. inane story, bad acting), but it was DOA due to the nonstop coverage of its stars’ scandalous off-screen relationship. In particular, there was no need to see Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez attempt to have a fictional relationship when their actual relationship had played out in front of the media for almost a year. In the movie, Affleck’s character overcomes the hurdle that Lopez’s character is a lesbian. In real life, Affleck overcame the hurdle that Lopez was married. Which conflict seems more interesting to you? After the movie’s flaws were exposed, already weak ticket sales became nonexistent. In fact, Gigli holds two dubious box office records: the largest drop-off in ticket sales after an opening weekend (82%); and the largest drop-off in theaters after two weekends (97%). With production costs rumored to be around $75 million and worldwide ticket sales of $7 million, Gigli earned its spot as the #4 Box Office Bust. Somehow, there still are three movies that were even worse.
Last month, attorney Ted Wells issued a 243-page investigative report (a.k.a. “The Wells Report”) regarding Deflategate. After three months and millions of dollars, he concluded, “It is more probable than not that Tom Brady was at least generally aware of the inappropriate activities of [Locker Room Attendant Jim] McNally and [Assistant Equipment Manager John] Jastremski involving the release of air from Patriots game balls.” Depending on your feelings towards the Patriots, you will interpret that sentence either as an indictment of Brady’s involvement or as insufficient evidence for a guilty verdict. Regardless, the NFL suspended Brady for four games based on the report’s conclusion and a lack of cooperation in the investigation. Furthermore, the league confiscated two draft picks and fined the team $1 million based on a lack of cooperation and a history of cheating (i.e. Spygate). Lest you believe the punished would accept the verdict without question, the Patriots have created a website to refute the report while Brady has filed an appeal of his suspension through the NFL Players Association. By the time the scandal is resolved, we’ll all be wishing we were talking about Favre’s re-retirements instead.
If NBA games were only five minutes long, Acie Law may have been an all-time great. Well, they’re not, so he’s not. As a senior at Texas A&M, Law was named 1st Team All-American and won the Bob Cousy Award as the best point guard in the country after averaging 18 points and five assists per game. Despite being a clutch performer in college who elevated his game at the most critical moments, Law never elevated beyond backup duties in the NBA. During his four-year NBA career, he averaged less than four points and two assists per game while playing for five different teams. As previously established, any player taken after the first ten overall picks is exempt from being declared a Top 10 Bust. But for this restriction, Law would have been a prime candidate. Instead, he earned an Honorable Mention and an eponymous exemption.